The feuding factions within Greensborough have reportedly been rocked by a new development in the ongoing tension between the so-called “different regions” of the large suburb. As first reported back in March, our nearest suburban neighbours are apparently split into factions known as Greenhills, Apollo Parkways, Briar Hill, St Helena, and Old Greensy, with constant tension between the groups over which is the true leader of the secretive “Greensy Alliance”.

Now, in yet another The Watsonia Bugle exclusive, we can reveal that Briar Hill is now claiming to be the true leader of Greensborough, and have made significant moves in the last few months to cement their position within the community. An anonymous Briar Hill resident leaked information regarding the alleged leadership push, and is sure to have opened up some old wounds in the process.

The source claimed that Briar Hill had always been where the Greensborough elite chose to build their houses, openly suggesting that the high vantage point was a cornerstone of the faction’s move to take control of Greensborough proper. They said, “There’s a reason why we literally look down upon the majority of the Greensbrough region: we’re better than them. Always have been, and always will be. From the very beginnings of this township, the landed gentry chose to settle over the river and up the hill, away from the hustle and bustle of Greensborough’s CBD. They would commute to the Main Street each day to collect the profits from their businesses, and then return to the relative safety of what they always referred to as ‘The Hill’. Anyone who denies Briar Hill’s elevated status amongst the Greensborough factions is, quite frankly, a fool.”

While such comments are sure to add significant fuel to the fire, representatives from the other factions refused to speak directly to The Watsonia Bugle. Could the collective silence be an attempt to cover up secret meetings between the rival factions in order to mount a challenge to this insurgence? Or is it merely a sign of distrust towards Watsonian outsiders? Only time will tell.