A dimwitted English supporter that insisted on booing Steve Smith through the first four days of the current Test Match at Edgbaston has reportedly woken this morning (UK time) to a nasty case of throat soreness. Rohan Keterington is expected to visit his local doctor in Birmingham today in an attempt to treat the self-inflicted ailment, while also reassessing his logic behind booing a man who committed a minor sporting infringement last year, yet openly cheering Ben Stokes who recently escaped a prison sentence for allegedly knocking a stranger unconscious on a Bristol street.

While the result of the First Test is still in the balance as it enters its penultimate day, Keterington is not expected to be in attendance, as he recovers from four big days at the cricket. As his strained vocal cords seemingly faltered, Keterington told The Watsonia Bugle, “It was all just a bit of a laugh really. I never meant any harm. That Steve Smith seems like quite a nice fella. Jury’s still out on Warner, but Smith is alright isn’t he?”

Unsure whether that was a question or an answer, we left Keterington to rest his voice and presumably get on with the rest of his life – sipping lemon tea under a warm blanky from the relative safety of his lounge room while he nervously watches the conclusion of today’s play. Get well soon, mate.