A local sports fan is currently weighing up his options as he prepares to face a difficult conundrum tonight. The challenge ahead of Nick Owen is how to approach simultaneously keeping up to speed with both the Essendon versus Collingwood clash and the all-important Third Ashes Test.

While similar scheduling issues have impacted on Owen’s Friday night sports viewing, he claims that most of the footy games have been low-key matches thanks to the AFL’s questionable ability to play decent clashes on a Friday night. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Owen said, “It’s not unprecedented, but the importance of these two matches is what makes tonight so difficult. I mean, last Friday night, it was Melbourne v Sydney up against a Test Match at Lord’s. That was a no-brainer. I could’ve told you the footy was gunna be a snorefest before it even started, mate. But tonight is big. Dons v Pies in the final round of the home and away season, plus Day 2 of what is shaping as a crucial Ashes Test. Especially without Smudga in the side. I’m bloody nervous.”

Despite insisting that he was still unsure exactly how he would play the scenario, Owen said he had a few options up his sleeve. He said, “I’m not quite tech-savvy enough to get that Kayo split screen up, so I could kick it old school and just drag the TV from the garage into the lounge room. Two boxes side-by-side, that could work. Or just rely on Test Cricket’s propensity for a shit-load of replays of everything. Focus on the footy while it’s going, and just flick over to the cricket in the breaks. I’ve also got an old iPad I haven’t used for a while, so that’s an option. To be honest, the multitude of options that I have is what’s making it more difficult to decide right now.”

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