A Greensborough man has broken the silent tension at a public urinal by ripping a massive fart, allowing all of his fellow pissers to breathe a collective sigh of relief. Callum Jones dropped the fart in the urinal of a local public house yesterday, after up to seven seconds of awkward silence apart from the earnest pissing of at least a dozen men.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Jones said, “It was like a funeral in there mate, so someone had to do something. And I just happened to have a fart brewing, so I thought I’d go with that instead of asking the bloke next to me how his night had been.”

While the move has been described as slightly controversial, Jones was standing by his actions, including loudly proclaiming “better out than in” immediately following the aforementioned passing of wind. He also said, “If I didn’t, someone else would’ve. Guaranteed.”