A local dietician has controversially claimed that pasta salad is not actually a salad and should, therefore, lose its salad status. Bec Malford made the unpopular claim in an open letter to the International Salad Board and has requested a full investigation into the matter.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about her position, Malford said, “It’s just not a salad. I’ll tell you what it is: it’s a cold pasta. You can’t just chuck mayonnaise on something and call it a salad.”

While Malford expected some pushback to her application, she feels it’s necessary for the betterment of our nation’s overall health. She said, “There’s just too many people thinking that eating pasta with mayonnaise is the healthy option because it’s a ‘salad’. People are dumb, so we need to help them.”