Supposedly everyone’s favourite chocolate treat, Bertie Beetle, has broken ranks with the entire confectionery industry to discuss the harsh reality behind the economic principle of supply and demand. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Bertie has controversially claimed that if people actually really loved him, he’d be more widely available throughout the year, and not just at the Royal Melbourne Show each September.

According to Bertie, “It’s economics 101, mate. Supply and demand. If there was a genuine demand for me, a supply would be created to meet that demand. It’s not rocket science. Everyone goes nuts about me at this time of the year, but the harsh reality is that I’m not regularly available because youse all talk a big game but don’t put your money where your mouth is.”

Bertie then specifically called out people posting about him on social media during the two weeks of the week and a half of the Show. He said, “If just half of these social media posers bought a packet of Berties once a fortnight we’d be back on supermarket shelves in a bloody heartbeat, mate. Mark my words, it would happen. But nah, they just make their cutesy little post to feel good about themselves, it’s classic bloody clicktivism, mate.”