You may or may not have realised but today has been International Pirate Day. While the need for and/or relevance of such a worldwide day of observance for blood-thirsty criminals is unknown, it appears that the Somali pirate community is unhappy about what they deem an underrepresentation of their activities during today’s festivities. 

Identifying The Watsonia Bugle as a news service that covers the issues that mainstream media seem unwilling to discuss, a Somali pirate by the name of Eric* contacted us this afternoon to bemoan the fact his brethren were not featured during the western world’s celebration of today’s theme. He said, “It just does not make sense, you guys seem fixated with romanticised versions of the type of pirates that existed hundreds of years ago. Yet we’re still here, commandeering ships, but you guys just seem in denial, like every pirate is some kind of bumbling Jack Sparrow with thick eye liner and a team of stunt doubles.”

When we said, “Ah, don’t you mean ‘Captain’ Jack Sparrow”, Eric simply replied, “I’m the captain now”. When asked how he imagined we could incorporate any of his recent activities in a feature film or, let’s say, a children’s cartoon, Eric said, “You’re missing the point”, then hung up. Thanks for the input Eric. 

* Name was changed to protect Eric’s true identity.