A rogue block of Oompa Loompas was spotted along the banks of the Yarra this morning, as Melbournians woke to drastically different looking river. An overnight dumping of dirt-encrusted rain has given our city’s main tributary a similar appearance to the magical chocolate river that flows through Willy Wonka’s fabled chocolate factory.

An eyewitness, Karen Tomlinson, alerted The Watsonia Bugle to the odd sighting, saying the Oompas were spotted on a platform opposite Crown Casino, jumping up and down in excitement at the wonderful sight. Tomlinson said, “I was just sitting on my tram as it went over the bridge. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted them. They looked so excited, because I guess the Yarra is a bit bigger than that little chocolate stream that runs through the Wonka factory. I thought one was going to jump in at one stage, but instead they got down on their knees are started scooping the liquid up into their mouths. Then, all of a sudden, before I could take a decent photo of them, they vanished. Just like that [clicks fingers].”

While it remains unclear whether the Oompa Loompas spotted this morning were actually from Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, local industrial relations expert Cameron Taylor said it was unlikely the genial chocolate enthusiasts spotted on the Yarra this morning were part of the Wonka empire. Taylor said, “The Oompa Loompas in the Wonky factory are nothing more than glorified slaves. They put on a brave face, but the conditions inside that factory are oppressive. It’s unlikely that Wonka workers would be able to afford an international holiday. Plus they only get one week a year annual leave. The ones spotted in Melbourne this morning are likely to be the lucky few that escaped Wonka’s raid of Loompaland all those years ago.”

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