Ghosts of Metro past have reportedly been exhumed this week as the former nightclub site is officially demolished to make way for new inner-city development. As workers set about dismantling the former theatre-turned-pickup-joint, a crack team of international parapsychologists were given access to the site last night to respectfully aid the passage of the tortured souls into alternative accommodation.

According to a source close to the new development, the sensitive treatment of the paranormal activity on the iconic city site was written into the contract of the project. The anonymous source said, “Yeah, it was a non-negotiable. We had to get paranormal experts from all over the world for this. The ghosts in that building were amongst the most haunted ever encountered by the crack team, but they said the exhumation was a success.”

The attention to detail was impressive, with the parapsychologists specifically choosing Thursday night because that used to be “Goo” night during the nightclub’s halcyon days. The inside source explaining, “Initially we assumed that Saturday night would be the best time of the week to access the site, but the experts did their research and nominated Thursday. Apparently that was when the most debauched things occurred. The team said it was essential to pick a day and a time when the ghosts would be most active.”

While a variety of tactics were reportedly used to lure the ghosts out of the soon-to-be-transformed venue, the source claimed that the most successful ones were the promise of drink cards, suggestions to go and eat late night street food, and hints about “epic kick-ons at Jonno’s house”. The specific location of the home to the new ghosts remains a closely guarded secret, with our source claiming it was “important to give these tortured souls time to settle into their new environment”.