The captain of a mid-week social sports team claims the role has prematurely aged him, with one recent estimate suggesting he looks up to 25 years older than his actual biological age. In addition to premature ageing, Matt Lewis has told The Watsonia Bugle that the weekly stress of “trying to get a team together” for his Monday night basketball competition at the Diamond Valley Stadium had also began impacting his workplace efficiency and his personal relationships.

In an exclusive interview about the issue, Lewis said, “Mate, it’s bloody relentless. Week in, week out, I’m chasing these blokes just to get enough players on the court. It’s like herding cats. The anxiety starts building up around Saturday arvo each week during the season, and then all kinds of things can happen over a weekend that can impact my squad. I’ve got a bunch of guys I try to hit up for fill-ins every now and then, but even they won’t return my calls now. It’s a disaster.”

Lewis also said there was a constant economic stress surrounding the financial stability of his team. He said, “Oh yeah, I’m always chasing subs and that. It’s a real juggling act. The wrinkles started a few years ago, and then the grey hairs just spread overnight. I’m only 32 years old, but I look well over 50!”

According to a local sports administrator, the phenomenon experienced by Lewis is actually quite common. The anonymous league manager said, “He’s definitely not alone. This problem spreads across all genders and all sports. The entire social sports industry just tries to keep it hush hush because highlighting the personal toll on these brave young souls could bring our entire industry down. Starting up a team always seems like a good idea initially, especially when the plan is hatched over a few beers. But I’ve seen many a youthful face get brought down by the stresses of team captaincy. Within one or two seasons I reckon they age a minimum of five years, and then it just all goes downhill from there.”