The hovering coronavirus threat has been proven a more effective motivator in keeping local office kitchens clean than empty threats from Dishes Fairy. Shared kitchens in office spaces across the country have reported improved conditions this week, as the population comes to grips with the ever-present threat of infection.

While the Dishes Fairy has reportedly been responsible for thousands of passive aggressive kitchen signs since the early 1960s, the improvement in kitchen conditions was always marginal, particularly when compared to the rapid elevation of hygiene in recent days. Lisa Ventnor, an office manager at an inner-city workplace contacted The Watsonia Bugle to publicly marvel at the state of her kitchen today.

In a wide-ranging interview, Ventnor said, “I just can’t believe my eyes. It’s like a dream. I’ve been carefully crafting terse kitchen signs for years. I laminate them, place them at eye level, add memos to team meetings, everything, but nothing has worked as well as the impending threat of contracting this virus. I won’t say I’m happy that coronavirus has become a whole thing, but I’m just saying that every cloud has a silver lining.”