A long-suffering office “Dishes Fairy” has claimed she feels completely useless now that everyone from her inner-city office is working from home. While the fairy has previously spoken out about her loss of purpose, she says this unprecedented change has left her twiddling her thumbs and ironically craving a bunch of half empty coffee mugs and discarded teaspoons sitting in tepid water in the sink.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about her current predicament, the Dishes Fairy said, “I mean, technically, this was what I’ve always wanted: a spotless kitchen. But I honestly feel lost now. Like a parent of adult children who have all flown the coop. Not everyone can just pack up and do their work from home, I need to be here in the office.”

While the Dishes Fairy conceded that this was an evolving situation, she wouldn’t rule out making home visits where her former colleagues were no doubt facing similar hygiene issues in their home kitchens. She said, “I know it would be against all the social distancing principles, but nobody ever actually saw me in the real office anyway, they thought it was ‘magic’, so I could probably sneak into their homes and tidy up without them noticing. Do you think that would work?”