It’s taken the current crackdown on non-essential outings to convince a local dad that most of the stuff he has purchased from Bunnings over the years has not been essential. John Treloar made the bold admission yesterday afternoon over a quiet Zoom beer with a few mates, after reflecting on his purchase history and wondering how many of them could be strictly defined as essential.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his confronting moment of clarity, Treloar said, “I mean, at the time, I genuinely believed that I needed that orbital sander for all the wood work that I do. But it turns out I don’t actually do that much wood work.”

Treloar said the stringent rules around when and how you’re allowed to leave the house had led him to contemplating some genuine DIY jobs around the house. He said, “To be honest, I’m not sure what I miss most: heading to the RSL for a few pots, or popping over to Bunnings to pick up a couple of things. It’s as much about the visceral experience as it is about the physical task of purchasing hardware. If I can launch a proper home improvement task this week, I’ll have an essential reason to head to Bunnings.”