A local woman has challenged the very essence of the so-called “coffee nap”, an apparently increasingly popular phenomenon where participants drink a coffee and then immediately have a 15-minute nap. Also referred to as a “nappuccino”, the controversial technique is said to increase productivity and improve your overall health.

However, Brenda Parnell is having none of it, telling The Watsonia Bugle that the entire concept is flawed. Parnell said, “Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. Seriously, who are the morons that are coming up with these ridiculous schemes? Why would you combine two competing forces and expect a positive result?”

According to Parnell, her entire opposition to the coffee nap centres around the fact that, in separation, coffee and naps serve entirely different purposes. She said, “Coffee is for waking up, and naps are for going to sleep. Simple. How on earth are you supposed to merge those two things? They’re wonderful on their own, don’t mess with them!”