A local child has referred to her family’s lounge room couch as “Daddy’s Beer Bed”, unwittingly providing a raw insight into the otherwise private social structure of her household. 11-year-old Alex* made the stark admission during a recent sleepover at her friend’s house when sleeping arrangements were discussed and the 11-year-old said “I don’t mind sleeping on the beer bed if there aren’t enough normal beds”. While the parents of Alex’s friends did a double-take on the comments, the young girl then doubled down on her faux pas, going on to explain how her father often decamped to the lounge room for some much-needed slumber after a big night on the beers.

The parents of Alex’s friend, who both requested strict anonymity, contacted The Watsonia Bugle to share the revelation. They said, “We both know her dad doesn’t mind a beer, but we didn’t realise he had designated sleeping quarters after tipping a few in. It really gave us an insight.”

In response to the claims, Alex’s mother said, “He doesn’t give me much choice really. He snores like a bloody banshee with a bad cold, and the smell that oozes out of his pores could be sold to a chemical weapons manufacturer. I can’t even be in the same room as him, let alone the same bed.”

*Alex’s name was changed to protect the identity of her pisswreck father.