Images of the unconventional opening technique were first aired yesterday, when an Australian posted them to Reddit and explained they were the actions of their UK love interest. While it remains unclear in which jurisdiction the offence was committed, the Internet has been abuzz with insults flying between Australia and the mother country.
International relations between the UK and Australia have hit a new low after the recent mistreatment of a MILO tin by a British citizen, who seems to have used a can opener to prize open a can of the delicious chocolate treat. Diplomats from both countries are now reportedly scrambling to ease the escalating tension, while Australian government officials are striving to keep news of the breach away from the straight-shooting Barnaby Joyce.
An anonymous government source contacted The Watsonia Bugle to reveal the seriousness of the situation, hinted this could be the beginning of a renewed push to break away from the Commonwealth and become a republic. The source said, “Things haven’t been this tense since Bodyline back in the 1930s. That whole thing brought up a lot of old grievances, but that was almost 100 years ago now. However, there are certain sacred symbols of Australiana. You know, kangaroos, koalas, emus, MILO, the usual. You mess with those icons at your own peril. This one has really touched a nerve, if you take as gospel the word of Reddit users who can often be hard to identify as actual human beings. Whoever “Thunder_from_Down_Under” is, they sure do have some strong opinions about how Australia and the UK should interact with each other in future.”