A local man says he’s relying solely on weather chat for conversation starters with wife, as other topics start to dry up during Lockdown 2.0. Watsonia resident Peter Hamilton claims that spending the entire day and night together under one roof, and having zero social life, have left mundane observations about the weather as the only new information to bring to the dinner table each night.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his current predicament, Hamilton said, “I just have no new stories. Normally, something interesting might’ve happened at work, or I see something funny on the train commute. But now there’s just nothing. My personal opinion of the day’s weather conditions is about all I’ve got. You know, just the usual ‘Hmm, it’s quite mild today, warmer than I expected’. I’m not proud of this, but it’s just where I’m at right now.”

Controversially, Hamilton also put some blame on his wife, claiming that she’d now come to expect boring stuff from him, so that when something interesting happened she wasn’t ready to respond appropriately. He said, “A few days ago, I saw a fox on my morning walk. It was amazing, I was so pumped. But when I got home to tell her, she just seemed disinterested about the whole tale. I was devo. I mean, I saw a real-life fox just walking around the streets. Sure, he didn’t do anything super special, but that’s still pretty awesome.”