A local facewasher has broken ranks from the bathroom manchester fraternity to accuse its current employer of false advertising. Reportedly fed up with years of mistreatment, the facewasher has controversially claimed that it’s used to clean faces less than 10% of the time, spending the majority of its use on other, less savoury, body parts.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, the facewasher said, “When I first signed on, I thought this would be a good role: helping to keep faces clean. Adults, kids, whatever. You know, it was an important job, an honourable job. But within the first week, I was being asked to clean a whole bunch of areas that were most definitely not on my job description. Underarms, feet, ball bags, arse cracks, the whole bloody anatomy poster. It was confronting. And I was not prepared for that kind of stuff. There’s no easy way to say this: my employer lied to me.”

However, the employer has responded to the accusations with a detailed response, pointing to a disclaimer buried deep in the position description that the facewasher signed on its first day. According to the employer, “You kind of have no choice but to call it a facewasher. I mean, nobody will sign on to be a ‘bum crack washer’. Nor would they want to be known in general society as such. All this comes down to is yet another case of not properly reading the fineprint.”