A tentative prohibition trial for the suburb of Watsonia has been met with stiff resistance on a local community Facebook page, with residents torn between the alleged benefits of an alcohol-free society and the insistent need to self-medicate during Lockdown 2.0. A member of the community page posted a question to the online forum to canvas general opinion on the fact bottle shops were open for business during Stage 4 restrictions in Melbourne, before things quickly devolved as both sides of the argument traded insults and cast aspersions towards one another.

While the post was eventually removed from the community page, ripples of the incident are still being felt throughout Watsonia. And now, in yet another The Watsonia Bugle exclusive, we can reveal that the question was posed as part of a test to see whether our suburb was ripe for a good old-fashioned alcohol ban. Thankfully, for the sake of personal freedoms and our rampant desire to get on the beers, it seems results from the initial trial have forced prohibition supporters to look for other suburbs to torment – namely ones with a well-known predilection to the alcohol-free lifestyle like Balwyn and Glen Iris.

Enthusiastic local drinkers say they are pleased by the deflection, stating Watsonia’s ongoing campaign for a wine bar as a clear example that Watsonians like to tip a few in. One such local drinker, Benjamin Owen, passionately said, “Mate, Watsonia is not the place for prohibition. In fact, I don’t like its chances anywhere in Australia, but definitely not in Watsy! And definitely not while we’re all in iso. To slightly paraphrase the immortal words of Mel Gibson, ‘They may take our freedom, but they’ll never take our boozin’!’ And I’ll fight anyone that challenges me.”

Image via Wikimedia Commons.