After years of being compared to just about every ugly bald celebrity on earth, 37-year-old Watsonia man, Brett Jennings, has finally had enough. Following a solid 30-minute ribbing from his mates on a Zoom chat over the weekend, Jennings erupted in a chair-kicking, drink-throwing rage, before exiting the chat and retreating to his bedroom.

Close friend, and chief protagonist in the Zoom chat, Rob Barrock, said “It just came out of nowhere, I mean we hang a bit on him about being bald, but he’s never blown up like that before”.

In an exclusive interview with The Watsonia Bugle yesterday, Stephens said “I’m just really sick of the constant comparisons to ugly bald celebrities. It’s so lazy on my mates’ behalf. I’ve had them all over the years… Carl Barron, Uncle Fester, Peter Garrett, Dr Evil, Moby, pale Shrek. I mean, I’m in reasonable shape for an old bloke, and I surfed a bit back in the 90s, so why don’t any of them ever compare me to Kelly Slater? It’s rubbish!”

In response, Barrock, who hadn’t spoken to Stephens since the incident, said “Oh, he’s kidding himself isn’t he? He said he surfed a bit? More like boogie boarded in between the flags. And besides, he looks more like Mick Martyn than Kelly Slater.”