A club cricket tailender from Watsonia has been heard bragging to teammates about how he could hit Australian off-spinner Nathan Lyon for six. The man, Jimmy Daniels, made the remarks in his WhatsApp group this afternoon as discussion centred around the tense final day of the SCG Test against India.

With an uninspiring career batting average of 6.7, Daniels’ claims seem optimistic at best, but fit well with the common impression that off spinners are “very hittable”. Typing freely on his phone, Daniels said, “Boys, boys, c’mon, I could totally hit Lyon for six. He hardly turns it, has no variations, and I’ve got a good eye.”

Daniels’ friends humoured him initially, before delivering some harsh home truths about his career batting record, backed up with some incredibly damning MyCricket screenshots. However, Daniels doubled down on his bold claim, telling his mates, “Say what youse like about me record, but I’ve still got Lyon covered. Plus I’d be using one of them Test match bats, you know, like Davey Warner’s big stick. I’d easily clear the rope off one of Lyon’s dibbly dobblers.”