A local bunch of mates has reportedly split after conjecture over the correct abbreviation for the term “chicken parmigiana”. Congregating last night for a meal at the Watsonia RSL, a lively debate sparked at their table of six when some members on the dining party insisted on shortening the iconic Australian meal to “Parmi” instead of “Parma”.

While the initial debate went unresolved, and the mood at the dinner seemed to return to normal, when the friends left the venue and headed to their separate homes, a flurry of text messages flew around various members of the group, and factions formed over the correct shortening of the pub staple. One of the friends, from “Team Parma”, contacted The Watsonia Bugle to share his concern over the behaviour of his friends.

The man, who requested strict anonymity, said of his friends, “I’ve just lost respect for them, mate. I mean, who calls it a ‘parmi’. I’m genuinely questioning my friendship with those morons. The RSL calls it ‘Parma Night’ for a reason: that’s the correct name for it.”

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the self-appointed spokesman for “Team Parma”, a member of “Team Parmi” also contacted The Watsonia Bugle to put forward his case. This man, who also requested anonymity, said, “It’s gotta be ‘parmi’ doesn’t it. The English language is in a constant state of flux. Society is moving towards ‘parmi’ more and more. And if my dickhead mates can’t accept them, I might just have to find some new friends.”