A local footy fan has invented a foolproof car security system to protect his car when he parks at the Watsonia Station car park. Tom Lancaster claims that placing a Collingwood Magpies scarf across the rear dashboard of his car deters thieves from breaking into his vehicle, as most of the thieves are sympathetic to the Collingwood cause.

Lancaster also claims that his homemade security solution has been rigorously tested for over three years, resulting in zero break-ins not just within Watsonia, but across the entire Melbourne region. Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his ground-breaking concept, Lancaster said, “Say what you like about those Collingwood scumbags, but one thing’s for sure: they look after their own. It’s strange, because I’ve seen them fight amongst themselves at footy games before, but my scarf theory proves that they’ll always look after each other.”

While some local motorists remain sceptical about Lancaster’s methods, he swears by it. He said, “In the two-year period before I installed that scarf, my car got broken into four times. Sure, I’ve noticed a slight increase in the road rage directed at my while I’m driving around town, but that’s a small price to pay for protecting my car and its contents.”