A local cricketer currently drinking pots at his work Christmas party is bravely pretending that conditions won’t be too hot in the field tomorrow despite a forecast top of 35 degrees Celsius. Ben Hamilton is steadily approaching his 10th standard drink for the day after a long lunch on his boss’ credit card steadily approaches the evening hours, silently convincing himself that he can simultaneously handle being hungover and playing cricket.

Despite multiple colleagues asking “Don’t you have cricket tomorrow?”, Hamilton is convinced that the working year needs to be sent off in style. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, he said, “Look mate, I’ve been locked inside me house for most of 2021, it’s time to celebrate the end of the year. A few jars on the last day of work never hurt anyone. And it’s not like I’ve never played cricket with a hangover before. Truth be told, I do it most weekends, haha.”

When quizzed how that hungover state is impacted by hot weather, Hamilton became dismissive with the line of questioning. He said, “Mate, it’s a summer game. These are the conditions we train for. Sure, November was freezing, but I’ll be fine tommozza. Seriously. And besides, they’re all one-dayers this year. So, at worst, I’ll only be in the field for 40 overs. Easy done.”

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