A Watsonia North man with genuine trust issues has admitted that he still put his family’s bins out last night, despite the fact it is clearly stated on the Banyule City Council calendar that all collections are happening a day later this week due to the public holiday last Monday. Ben Hamilton bravely acknowledged his deep-seated mistrust in society, and claims that no harm was done by putting his bins out a night early.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle, Hamilton said, “Look, I understand the council has clearly said everything will be a day late this week, but I have a healthy distrust of authority. Some call that ‘trust issues’, but I call it covering all my bases. Bin management is tricky enough at my place as it is, so I don’t want to miss a collection.”

And in an interesting development, Hamilton claimed he wasn’t the only one to play it safe last night with his waste management. He said, “I’m definitely Robinson Crusoe here. On the drive to work this morning I reckon at least 80% of people had their bins out. Are you going to accuse all of them of having trust issues? I think not.”