A local scallywag has chosen a very dangerous day to test his partner’s self-determination theory in relation to purchasing her own flowers. Dave Black says he’s so sick of his girlfriend Lisa singing the Miley Cyrus hit song “Flowers”, that it’s time to call her bluff on the whole situation.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his bold strategy, Black said, “Mate, she keeps going on about Miley not needing no man to buy her flowers and shit, so I’m going to test how truly she believes it. What better day than Valentine’s Day? The one day of the year when they double the price of what are essentially dead or dying plants wrapped in fancy paper, haha.”

Despite his bravado, Black did concede that his approach to the annual festival of love could backfire on him. He said, “Yeah, yeah, I know, this could all blow up in me face. But you only live once, and if it means I don’t have to hear that song on repeat any more, that’s a win!”