Fresh from his rant about Port Adelaide being allowed to wear their famous “Prison Bar” guernsey in this year’s AFL season, former Collingwood president Eddie McGuire has reportedly taken aim at the zebras down the highway at Werribee Zoo. A source close to the prominent media figure claimed McGuire was infuriated by the zebras’ long-term use of the iconic black and white stripes, and the confusion must be stopped.

The anonymous source said, “If he wasn’t so serious about this, it would actually be funny. I mean, I know the Collingwood Football Club is the centre of some people’s universe, but I’m pretty sure zebras were around long before the Pies started prancing around sporting fields in their beloved jumper. Apparently Collingwood fans are so easy to confuse, that some of them might start going to the zoo to cheer for the zebras as they mingle with the rhinos and whatever other exotic animals are down there. Eddie pls.”

However, one local animal expert has suggested that picking on zebras might not be the best idea, as Collingwood may have actually pinched their “clash” guernsey concept off the African equines. Self-designed amateur zoologist Fraser Bannister told The Watsonia Bugle, “Not many people realise that zebras are actually black with white stripes, not white with black stripes. That might seem like a trivial fact, but it’s the sole premise of Collingwood’s flimsy claim that they have a clash guernsey for away games. So, I reckon the zebras could have a counter claim if Eddie tries to push them any further. Watch this space.”