A local renegade has controversially claimed that the recent closure of Brown Gouge at Greensborough Plaza has opened an interesting parking loophole out the front of popular shopping centre. Todd Tattersall made a bold proclamation earlier this week during a casual conversation with friends, announcing that the prime parking position is now “basically up for grabs” regardless of where you intend shopping, and also for an unlimited timeframe.

According to sources, Tattersall said, “Look, I’ve always been partial to exceeding the 10-minute parking spots from time to time, but this Brown Gouge loophole has really changed the game. It’s pretty much the most rockstar of all the rockstar car parks at the whole Plaza, and I’ve been parking there heaps, often for over an hour. It’s the perfect crime, boys, you should get amongst it.”

When contacted by The Watsonia Bugle to discuss his innovative approach to parking, Tattersall was initially quite reticent, before ambiguously stating, “It’s a bit like that old philosophical statement about the tree falling in the woods but nobody’s there to hear it fall. If a parking spot is reserved for Brown Gouge customers but Brown Gouge doesn’t exist, is there actually a rule for that parking spot? That’s all I’ll be saying on the matter, thanks.”