Having unofficially been the better Dinsdale since birth, Nick Dinsdale can now officially claim the title after a recent survey gave him 99% of the votes. The poll, run by our sister publication, The Heyfield Hollerer, makes official what the majority of observers have known for decades. 

While Brenton and Joel have made persistent efforts to gain ground in the race to become the preferred Dinsdale, it seems Nick’s pleasant nature, good sense of humour, superior looks, and prowess on the football field have combined to build an unassailable lead. Not even Joel’s recent herculean effort to raise valuable funds for charity have been enough to challenge Nick’s supremacy. Brenton had a brief spike in popularity during his purple patch of posting embarrassing photos of Ged McMahon on Facebook for his flash in the pan “Flashback Fridays”; however, even those dried up, and Brenton returned to being the unfunny dork he’d always been. 

Brenton and Joel have even had kids in a vain attempt to claw back some ground on Nick. And not even the comedic value garnered from Joel’s resemblance to Happy Gilmore’s albino caddy was enough to draw more than one vote.

In fact, both Brenton and Joel only registered one vote each in the poll, and a The Watsonia Bugle enquiry into the survey has revealed a rather damning anomaly in their singular votes. The vote given to Brenton was from a “Helena Dinsdale”, and the vote for Joel was from a “Helene Dinsdale”. A quick scan of the electoral role for the Heyfield area doesn’t show either of those names, yet a “Helen Dinsdale” does, and she voted for Nick. What’s even more interesting about this development is that while Helen has clearly made an attempt to place votes for all three of her sons, she still decided to use her correct name for the Nick vote. Helen was unavailable for comment when contacted by The Watsonia Bugle