In news that shouldn’t surprise you, but we’ll publish just in case, the platform announcer that apologises for your train delay isn’t actually sorry. To be honest, they don’t even care that you’re trapped on a crowded and cold train station platform. They probably just accepted the small voice over gig in an attempt to makes ends meet.

The reality is, the person apologising for the delay is sitting in a warm and dry studio somewhere, probably a number of years ago, reading from a script before heading across the road to their nearby car and driving home to wherever voice artists live these days. They’re not even aware of your current circumstances, so how could they be even remotely apologetic.