Today has dawned a very good morning as news filters through The Watsonia Bugle offices that the government has done an about turn on their decision to cut funding to Life Education, the organisation responsible for Harold the giraffe. News of Harold’s seemingly untimely demise spread across the nation last night, as people of all ages reflected on the many important life lessons that Harold taught them in their formative years. 

But then Education Minister Simon Birmingham tweeted this at 8.45pm last night: 

For generations, Harold has toured the nation in his pimped out trailer, stopping at Primary Schools to deliver a content-rich program, tailor made to suit each different year level. Topics ranged from healthy eating, illicit drug use, and safe sex, all tastefully delivered to children by a seemingly mute giraffe hand puppet who communicated with students via the interpreter services of his human assistant. 

Whilst Harold ultimately has the power of speech, he is eternally shy, so has to whisper advice into his assistant’s ear for them to relay the information to the gathered children. Why Harold remains so shy, despite his profession requiring the constant facilitation of classroom-style lessons to groups of children, remains unclear. Not even the comforting surrounds of his dimly lit trailer home are enough to bring him out of his shell.

But perhaps that reticence was what makes Harold so appealing to the children. They can relate to his reluctance to speak openly about such challenging issues, and happily wait while he whispers advice into another person’s ear. The children then accept this secondhand information more readily than they do from any of the trusted adults in their lives.

Last night, we spent most of our time reflecting that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. But now we wake to a new day. A day where politicians have responded fearfully to a scorned nation that was ready to respond angrily to the potential loss of an icon. Stand proud today citizens, Harold’s resurrection is a win for the good guys.