Bundoora father of four, Ken McMillan, has been complaining of bad gas all day after sampling his 16-year-old daughter Steph’s lentil dish for dinner last night. Whilst McMillan acknowledges that it was good to see his teenage daughter contributing in the kitchen, his unpopularity on the worksite this afternoon may lead to a private conversation with Steph when he gets home from work tonight. 

Ken said, “I mean it’s great that she’s helping out around the house, I’m even okay with the vegetarian phase she’s going through at the moment, and to be honest it actually tasted pretty good, but geez the after effects are a bit much. My farts bloody smell like a folk festival dunny can.”

As an accomplished gas plumber working in the northern suburbs of Melbourne, McMillan was genuinely concerned for his safety. “OH&S is a big thing these days, and I tell you what, I thought they were gunna shut the site down at one stage. Not to mention the threats of impending violence from the boys. Jonesy threatened to seal me bum hole with a couple of rounds from his nail gun. I’m not sure if that’s anotomically possible but I’m tipping it would be pretty painful.”