See that empty beer can on your nature strip? Yeah, that one over there. That’s solid evidence that someone else had a good night last night. Someone that’s not you. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have to wander over to it, pick it up, and throw it in your bin. Just to rub it in your face that you weren’t the one having such a wonderful and carefree time that you were walking the streets drinking a beer and then just tossed the empty can wherever you liked. 

To make it even worse, some of your neighbours might have woken up this morning, seen the can, and thought you are a slob who just leaves rubbish all around your property. They’ve already got enough damaging intel on your life – like the bad singing you do to your Burt Bacharach’s Greatest Hits CD when you’re in the kitchen, and that MC Hammer cassette that you blast out of your crappy old car. Yeah that’s right, your car’s so crappy it still has a cassette player. CDs aren’t even a thing any more, let alone cassette tapes. 

I bet that street wandering drinker has a car with a CD player, or maybe even bluetooth. Man, that would be living. So much living that he just roams the streets at night on foot, drinking beers, thinking about life, and throwing trash wherever he darn well wants to. Bet you’ve never done that you loser.