A Rosanna man has boldly declared that rain ponchos are “the thinking man’s umbrella” and claimed that “any businessman carrying an umbrella is a pillock”. Dean Allard made the comments in a series of passionate tweets earlier today after a seemingly frustrating morning commute on the train, surrounded by wet umbrellas. 

When contacted by The Watsonia Bugle about his stand, Allard refused to back down. He said, “I just think that the humble plastic poncho has been severely underrated over the years. It’s more compact to carry around when not in use than an umbrella, it actually covers all your clothes so is more effective against sideways rain, and doesn’t take people’s eyes out when walking around others. 

“So if you think about it, the poncho just makes heaps more sense than an umbrella. It’s the thinking man’s umbrella, so much so that any businessman carrying an umbrella is a pillock.”