A regular patron at Greensborough Coles has lost his cool after the deli assistant snapped a kabana stick in half without customer consultation. In what one observer described as “a completely irrational reaction”, the customer glared at the immediately apologetic Coles employee and said, “this is an absolute bloody outrage! Whatever happened to good old-fashioned customer service!”

The most confusing element of the customer’s reaction was that he always wanted his kabana stick snapped in half, I mean who’s going to walk around the rest of the supermarket with a veritable jousting stick constructed of an unknown combination of smallgoods? However, despite this expectation, the customer later said that he just “wanted to be consulted on this common technique before it was administered”. Despite this well-spoken explanation, the man’s initial reaction was far from polite and considered. 

Coles management were so offended by the petulant display that they have since erected a “Do not serve this man” sign, complete with the image of the customer. When told that this would happen, the man shouted “well I’m going to Safeway then… they always ask first!”