Yet another AFL player has bemoaned the intrusion that media has on his life, right up until he had some business venture to plug to the masses. This has become a very common move in the football industry, and often extends to when the player’s Instafamous partner has some new fashion label, hair care product, or dog biscuit they want some free publicity for. 

Up until just a few weeks ago the same player was overheard in a café informing a friend of the oft-quoted statistic that there are more accredited journalists covering AFL football then there are covering politics in Canberra. While nobody seems to have ever proven this statistic, it has quickly become accepted wisdom in footy circles, and is regularly used for the double-pronged purpose of complaining about media over exposure and subtly telling the world how important AFL football really is. 

Regardless of the validity of this claim, the player has spent the last week contacting many of these accredited journalists in the hope of garnering some free publicity for his new fashion label, finance company, landscaping business, panel beating shop, juice bar, exercise app, etc. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what the venture is, we’re gunna have to hear about it, in between grabs of how their team will perform this weekend, how sore their colleague’s hamstring really is, and what their pet dog does when he visits the local park. 

Once the publicity trail has reached its tiresome end, the player will presumably return to his favoured position of “there’s too much media these days, there’s cameras out the front of my x-ray clinic, everyone has a camera phone, etc.” But until then, please tell me more about your wife’s new line of handbags.