Apparently a fire brigade in the UK has written a letter to Fireman Sam to suggest that he celebrates his 30th birthday by changing his name to “Firefighter Sam”. Apart from the difficulty of writing a letter to a cartoon character, we feel this shows that the chief has zero understanding of the concept of rhyme. 

Here at The Watsonia Bugle we’re keen supporters of gender equality, and we love the idea of little girls dreaming about being whatever they want to be when they grow up. But somehow we don’t think these career aspirations are being discouraged due to a popular bloke who fights fires and has a first name that happens to rhyme a bit with the word “fireman”. 

So we say to Sam, there are more suitable ways to celebrate turning 30 than changing your name so that it no longer rhymes. For example, you could go out with your friends and get really drunk, or you could finally own up to the fact that idiotic Norman is your son. Go on Sam, treat yourself.