A local garbologist has bemoaned the lack of gifts from customers these days, making an unfavourable comparison to the “good old days” when he got beer, chocolates, cigarettes, and the occasional peck on the cheek from desperate housewives. Ken Hamilton said Christmas time during the 1980s and early 1990s was a wonderful time to be in the industry, as local residents showed their appreciation for what is now a thankless task.

Hamilton told The Watsonia Bugle, “Mate, it was bloody brilliant. I’d end up with a cabin full of loot. The beer supply would last me well into January. I loved it. But these days I pretty much get nothing. Modern society is going to hell in a hand basket.” Hamilton was unable to put his finger on why times have changed so drastically, but did manage to go onto a rambling tangent about what was wrong with the world.

To counter Hamilton’s complaints, one local resident, who requested anonymity, asked why we should give presents to them when they don’t even get out of their trucks these days. She said, “Are you kidding? Those blokes have got it so easy now. It’s not like the old days when they had crews hanging off the back of trucks, running up and down the hills of the Diamond Valley, lifting up bins and emptying them out. And have you heard how much they get an hour these days?”