A cricket fan from Greensborough has loudly pondered just how much money Oakley are paying Kevin Pietersen to wear sunglasses in night matches during the Big Bash. While Ben Miller has spent the last three or so years being bemused by Pietersen’s constant adornment of sunglasses on his cricket hat at night, he has now reached the stage where he just wants to know how much the little trick is earning him.

Despite the look of a man wearing both a hat and dark glasses at night is arguably counterproductive for the promotion of sunglasses, Oakley seem insistent on it, as Pietersen has committed to the look for at least the past three seasons. While it is possibly a genuine facet of Pietersen’s already complicated personality, the widely accepted belief is that bucket-loads of cash are being sent to him in exchange for looking like (more of) a dickhead on TV.

Preliminary investigations by The Watsonia Bugle are yet to unveil a specific figure, but industry insiders predict it to be at least five figures, plus an unlimited supply of sunglasses in a variety of styles. Which seems reasonable to us, on the off chance that any global organisations feel the need to set up a similar endorsement deal with The Watsonia Bugle. Especially after the arm on our service station sunnies snapped two days ago and we’re currently using electric tape to keep ourselves together…