Passing wind whilst wearing a bath towel has been confirmed as one of the riskiest things a modern person can do. In the risk-averse society of 2018, most risks have been mitigated or removed from our lives, leaving farting in a towel a rare opportunity to live on the edge and really test yourself.
In past generations, facing risk was simply part of everyday life, including dangerous machinery during the industrial revolution, driving without seat belts, and taking an evening walk but being snatched away by a hungry pterodactyl. Modern society has arguably become too efficient in managing risk, essentially forcing people to pop off into their towels, just so they can feel alive for a few brief moments.
Whilst the actual risks are many and varied, the main concerns are contracting pink eye during subsequent uses of the towel, and the immediate threat of following through – a particularly risky proposition if you’re wearing a white towel. But it seems we really have no choice but to roll the dice, our longevity as a species relies on it.
The Watsonia Bugle 