A local group of former school friends have just discovered that the kid in their class who zoomed around the playground pretending to be a motor car is now a successful businessman with multiple investment properties and a hot wife. A member of the group made the shock discovery after a meandering visit to LinkedIn, and broke the news to his mates over the weekend to a toxic mixture of amusement, surprise and genuine envy.

Apparently Callum Fraser spent much of the mid-1980s racing around the campus of a local primary school pretending to be a wide variety of cars, before keeping his head down at a local secondary school, getting a decent study score, going to university and generally succeeding at life. Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Fraser said that electing to go to an interstate university was the secret to his success. He said, “Nobody in Western Australia could trace the link to my car impersonating past, and once I worked that out I was able to quickly cobble together my own identity, without running the risk of bumping into a old school colleague who would confine me to my dark past.”

Following graduating from university with a whole bunch of new and cooler friends, Fraser headed to London to commence a successful career in finance, gradually working his way into a number of high paying positions. Fraser recently returned to Australia, opting to again stay in Western Australia to keep away from his troubled past. However, on LinkedIn, there’s nowhere to hide.