Three bachelors living in a Watsonia share house have disputed Barnaby Joyce’s definition of a “bachelor pad”, as provided in an exclusive newspaper interview. As reported by The Watsonia Bugle earlier today, the strange interview included a number of factual inaccuracies, but according to housemates Joel, Dale and Jonno, the most offensive of the Deputy Prime Minister’s claims was that he was currently living in a “bachelor pad”.

Speaking exclusively to the Bugle this afternoon, Joel said, “I don’t know what kind of parallel universe that guy is living in, but the house he’s living in there is no bachelor pad. He’s got it all wrong mate. For starters, it’s just him and his knocked up misso living in there, not a rolling cast of loose cannons, glory hunters, and mates of a mate. I can also guarantee that none of me, Dale or Jonno have some rich mate paying the rent for us because we are men of influence. We pay our rent out of our own back pockets, that’s for sure.”

Dale then questioned Joyce’s definition of his current dwelling, telling us, “And how’s about the look of the kitchen!? It’s absolutely spotless! I don’t even know what our bench top’s colour is, it’s that covered in crap and hasn’t been wiped down in months. Plus there’s that ridiculous photo of him posing on his staircase with one hand on the rail and the other hand in his pocket. What a flog! If I tried that stunt around here I’d be bashed.”