A local renegade has publicly queried the legitimacy of the entire test and tag industry, labelling the whole thing a “rort” and calling it a “waste of time and money”. Trent Collis made the comments during a drinking session at the Watsonia RSL when one of his mates told the group that he had just taken a job as a test and tagger.

Having consumed the requisite amount of beer to become an argumentative twat, Collis launched into a five-minute tirade about how the whole test and tag thing is “an elaborate microcosm of exactly what is wrong with society these days”. He also said, “appliances will either work or they won’t. Case closed. It doesn’t take an Einstein to work that out.”

While stopping short of describing it as “democracy manifest”, Collis essentially called it everything else he could think of, before trailing off into an equally impassioned rant about petrol prices, the life insurance industry, and the possible introduction of a sugar tax.

The outburst was only stopped when an announcement about the courtesy bus came over the loud speaker, saving Collis’s friends and other nearby drinkers from more wisdom from a metaphorical soap box. One friend then suggested that Collis get on the aforementioned courtesy bus before one of them belted him.