A local mechanic has broken ranks with his entire profession by admitting to The Watsonia Bugle that he can see a sucker coming from a mile away. The man, who requested strict anonymity, said that he alters each quote and bill based on the perceived mechanical knowledge of each customer that attends his garage.

In a stark admission that may well end up with him being a shadowy silhouette in a darkened room on an episode of A Current Affair, the man said, “At just the slightest hint of me speaking technical language I can just see their eyes glaze over. Even a word like ‘ignition’ can be enough to confuse some of them!”

He even referred to his behaviour as “the perfect crime”, saying the only way anyone would ever discover the rouse was if customers started talking to each and comparing notes. Of this risk he said, “But even then, how would they compare the jobs we’ve done on their cars when most of them don’t even know where the lever is to pop their boots?”