A Watsonia man who has spent the last four months spruiking his toughness credentials on the back of an underwater dive in the big fish tank at Melbourne Aquarium has been dealt a shuddering blow after hearing the sharks in that tank referred to as “Dalmatians of the Sea”. Following a strong social media presence after the dive, pretty much everyone who knows Dale Owen was aware that he had dived with sharks and lived to tell the tale.

While the Grey Nurse Sharks found in the fish tank at the aquarium look quite menacing, studies reveal that they are quite docile, leading to being nicknamed the “Dalmatians of the Sea”, a minor fact that Owen apparently failed to mention to anyone. When contacted by The Watsonia Bugle, Owen said, “It’s all rubbish mate, those things were legit sharks, and I swam with ‘em and that, so I don’t know what this ‘dalmatian’ business is. I stared into the eyes of those beasts and am still here livin’ and breathing. My kids think I’m a bloody hero mate, and that’s all that matters.”

However, local marine biologist Brendan Livingstone has told The Watsonia Bugle that the chances of being bitten by a Grey Nurse Shark are “about a million to one”. He also said, “You’re more likely to get bitten by your pet gold fish. Do you think in these uber OH&S days they’d allow any average Joe off the street to jump in and swim with these fish?”