A LEGO shark has spoken out about the secret pain of having a detachable face, and the many challenges that this presents in his everyday life. The shark, who insisted on being called ‘Bob’, said that the severe design fault had caused him and his friends a great deal of distress over the years.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Bob said, “Biting into a human leg with this flimsy bloody jaw would be hard enough, but have you ever tried munching on a LEGO man’s leg? They’re literally as a hard as a rock! One bite and me face just goes flying off into the ocean. How am I supposed to eat a decent meal with that going on?”

While Bob acknowledged that eating is the most challenging problem posed by his detachable face, he said it also caused problems in other facets of his life, including attending comedy festival events and, ahem, making out with his girlfriend. He said, “Have you heard the term ‘laughing your face off’? Well I can tell you it’s not that funny when you genuinely can laugh your own face off. I’ve done it many times. And how about when I’m trying to get passionate with my lady shark? A couple of minutes of heated Frenching and ‘POP’ off goes me face. It’s a nightmare, I’m telling ya.”