A Watsonia man has sat quietly while a bunch of his mates from the country have openly torn Melbourne to shreds in an alcohol-fuelled venting session. Ben Dunstan thought he was heading to a country pub yesterday afternoon for a few quiet beers with some old mates, but it quickly spiralled into an opportunity for the out of towners to criticise everything about Melbourne from its coffee culture, laneways, traffic, public transport, crime rate, and the mental wellbeing of the animals at the zoo.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle after the uninvited quasi-intervention, Dunstan said it all started after one of his mates asked him how life was going in “the big smoke”. He said that after providing them with a basic answer, “One of them just said, ‘I don’t know how you do it down there in the rat race mate’, and then it just snowballed from there.”

While Dunstan conceded that they raised a couple of valid criticisms of Melbourne life, he remained shocked about what made them think it was okay to so openly lambast his home town. He said, “It’s not okay to bag out a bloke’s girlfriend to his face even if she has a couple of obvious failings. So why can they say these things about where I live? I’d never say that kind of stuff about where they all live. Well, not to their faces anyway.”