AFL players will now be encouraged to look beyond just the pictures in the weekly Footy Record following last night’s decision on Nic Naitanui’s tackle on Karl Amon which has cost the West Coast ruckman a one-week ban. In handing down their controversial decision, the tribunal said that the 201cm and 101kg Naitanui has a duty of care to consider the relative size and weight of his opponents before tackling them.

Exactly how a player has time to make such a complex calculation in the heat of battle remains unclear, as does the acceptable height and weight differential for unceremoniously ramming a player into the ground. However, despite this ambiguity, coaches across the AFL are reportedly encouraging their players to now closely study the heights and weights of their opponents each week, in addition to the usual analysis of strengths and weaknesses.

According to one club employee, “Yeah it’ll be part of the pre-game preparation now, for sure. The coach is even thinking about doing a pop quiz each Thursday to see if the players have done their homework and can remember the dimensions of each opposition player. Without doubt the Footy Record remains the most reliable source for this kind of information, so all players will be encouraged to thoroughly read the Record before each game, instead of just looking at the pictures and trying to spot their names in there somewhere.”