A local suburb has made some serious waves after allegedly seeking an official removal from the highly secretive and, until now, rarely publicised Diamond Valley Group – a powerful organisation charged with controlling and managing our local region. In a The Watsonia Bugle exclusive, we can reveal that a rogue group of residents from Plenty have submitted a proposal to be removed from the Diamond Valley, seemingly based purely on the fact that their median house price has now risen into seven figures.

Members of the Diamond Valley Group are reportedly fuming, telling close associates how Plenty had originally pleaded to be included in the Group in the early 1980s – back when it was nothing more than a CFA station and a general store. One source told us, “Back then they were desperate to be included in the Diamond Valley, even though geographically they sit up above and away from the valley, now looking down at us from their inflated median house price.”

On the other side of the argument, an anonymous resident from the group behind the application to leave told us, “If you look at it objectively we deserve to stand alone. And unless this so-called Diamond Valley Group wants to fund improvements to Yan Yean Road then there’s really no reason for us to stay with them. They yield way too much power in this region, and we feel we’d be better off as a standalone suburb, gently wedged between the hustle and bustle of Greensborough and the Stepford-like uniformity of Doreen.”

How successful the attempt will be remains to be seen, with reports that Lower Plenty once requested a similar exemption, also based on high median house prices and a number of wealthy residents, but was denied due to the integral role that the Lower Plenty Hotel has played in the formation of the character of the Diamond Valley. Whether Plenty holds a similar place in the heart of our region will apparently be decided on in a future meeting of the grand council of the Diamond Valley Group. As with many of the Group’s activities the time and location of this meeting is being closely guarded, unobtainable even by The Watsonia Bugle’s dedicated team of investigative journalists.