A local dunce still feels the need to point out that today isn’t the Queen’s actual birthday, despite regular protestation from his dwindling circle of friends. Greensborough man Brad Thompson has spent the last week reminding people of this obvious fact, pretty much anyone around him so much as mentions the long weekend.

Apart from the fact that most mildly intelligent people can identify the implausibility of having your birthday on a Monday each year, the remainder of the Australian population doesn’t actually care, they’re just happy to get a day off work. But this is another point that Thompson seems to have missed.

In an exclusive interview with The Watsonia Bugle, Thompson said, “I’m just not sure that everyone knows, so I’m always quick to point it out. You can never be too sure these days and, besides, it’s a very misleading name to give a regular public holiday. Her birthday’s actually in April. Did you know that?”